I would like to start this blog by thanking everyone that reached out to me in regards to my last blog post. It is incredibly humbling to know that there is so many women out there that I don’t necessarily know on a personal level but are willing to reach out to me and talk to me about mine and their own situation. Miscarrying a baby is not something anyone talks about, which in one breath I can completely understand. I tried the whole ‘don’t talk to me about it’ thing because I didn’t want to acknowledge the pain at all. But we are not being fair to ourselves and our little angels by ignoring the situation either. I just want any woman out there that has gone through something like this to feel like they can speak on it because it really does help. I have spoke to so many women and shared my feelings with them and they have also confided in me and I do think it’s therapeutic. It’s nothing any woman should feel ashamed by. Unfortunately it’s the part of life we don’t want to ever experience but not talking about it doesn’t make it go away. I am here for anyone, men also, I know Ryan has struggled with our loss just as much as I have.
Okay, I felt like that needed to be said before I dive in to this blog.... can we please talk about
“Do whatever the fuck you want” parenting?!
I feel like my kids are now getting to ages where they think they are a lot older than they actually are. It’s causing me from time to time to fall out of my normal “ohhh hell naw I’m the boss” parenting into “fuck it” parenting. What do I mean by this? I will NO LONGER fight with these kids. If Hendrix wants crisps one morning for breakfast, welll hellllll “do whatever the fuck YOU want” Henni. It’s not every morning of course but those odd mornings when I refuse to fight with his little ass, he can go on and have the crisps. I hope they are GOOD to you son. If Leyanah wants to wear a snow white dress over her leggings and T-shirt then “do whatever the fuck YOU want” Ley Ley. It’s all about picking your battles wisely.
This for me is the hardest part of parenting. Those of you that follow me on social media will have seen that the other day I let Hendrix take his toothbrush to nursery, yes you heard right not a toy car like other toddler, a damn toothbrush (don’t worry that shit got thrown in the bin after that day). I lost this battle real quick because he lost his shit when we had finished brushing his teeth and I was putting the toothbrush away. So again I took the “do whatever the fuck YOU want” approach. He then got to nursery and handed me the toothbrush like I was a dickhead for letting him take it with him. At this point I genuinely wanted to throw the whole baby away. I just gave him the shitty boo boo smile in front of all his little nursery friends and left. He almost got cussed out for that toothbrush stunt.
Now Leyanah is a whole other kettle of fish. She’s a lot older and can communicate with me what she wants and doesn’t want (aka boss me around and tell me what to do). When it comes to Leyanah as she’s older I have to be so much smarter when it comes to picking my battles; this little girl is so smart. She will play you and you won’t even know you are getting played till she already done played you and got what she wanted. Bedtime for example, this is one battle I refuse to fight anymore. She will try and use every excuse under the sun so that she doesn’t have to go to bed.
• “LoLo I need to brush my teeth again.” Then brushes her teeth for 10 minutes.
• “Daddy remember last week you said we could watch a movie before I go to bed.”
One of my personal favourites;
• “LoLo I need to go see the dog before I go to sleep, remember?”
To be fair she wins this battle more than she actually should. Ryan and I can’t fight this kid anymore, she’s too smart. You think you’ve got one over her by giving some slick answer and she counteracts it with another winning argument.
‘I know I promised, but you can’t watch a movie in bed now, Hendrix is in your room asleep.’
‘Yes Lo Lo but he isn’t in yourrrr room sleeping, so you can keep that promise now’
At this point I just pause and stare at her. She looks back and smiles, then does this thing with her eyebrows. *i think...FFFUCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!! And then reply
I’m nervous for when she’s like 16, if she’s this switched on now, we all have NO chance.
So yeah, I have now adopted the “do whatever the fuck YOU want” parenting style from time to time and it works for us. I never ever thought this would ever be me, I thought I would always be the parent that keeps her shit together. HA, silly rabbit, kids make you lose your shit on a daily basis.
Parenthood is a contest battle, remember folks chose your battles wisely!