I'm still alive...Well just about.

It's been a while, my apologies. I am back at work, trying to get some abs, working on my brand (t-shirts coming soon 👀) we are re-decorating the apartment, I'm trying to love on Ryan, wash clothes, while feeding Hendrix and Leyanah. It's all mad really I need an extra 24 hours in my life just to get shit done. So like I said I am back at work, only part time for the time being as full time is not worth it whatsoEVAH. Nursery charges has you in the bread aisle making life decisions in order to send your kid there. Can we just talk about nursery fees for a second…WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK why is it so damn expensive? I would understand if they had Jay Z come in every Wednesday to read them incy wincy spider while blue and the twins hand out milk & cookies. If Rihanna was posted up in the kitchen everyday serving the kids their dinner, I would then fully understand why nursery cost so damn much. Don't get me wrong Hendrix is benefiting from nursery 100%, he is learning and picking up things from the other children. I just don't think I need to sell my kidney in order for him to do these things. BUT he loves it so that's all that matters. He goes two full days a week and then the third day he's with a family member. Let me tell you, I drop this kid off he's like “BYEEEEE MOM” he is not arsed about me leaving him there at all. He cries when he gets picked up its like he doesn't want to go he was having too much fun. This again makes me feel so much better because I was really struggling mentally when it came to him going to nursery. He's been in nursery now for a month an a little bit and of course he's already picked up every illness this side of the Mississippi. He's had the shits (that was marvellous I was covered in shit for literally 5 days), he's been throwing up… I mean projectile vomiting everywhere, my carpet loved that. He has also had a chest infection so its safe to say my child immune system is SHIT. This lead to my anxiety starting back up again because I was so worried about Hendrix and his health. Hendrix was born with an infection and we had to stay in the hospital for 5 days after, had a lumbar puncture in his back at a day old to check he didn't have meningitis. So yeah whenever he gets sick now I turn in to a anxious psychopath. When he had the shits he was completely fine within himself he just couldn't keep anything from coming out. This lead to me googling his symptoms, which then lead to me reading that my son was going to become dehydrated, which then lead to me having an anxiety attack in the middle of the supermarket and Ryan having to calm me down before I had a full blown melt down. I’m telling you recently I have been on the edge. I’m sure parents can relate to me, when your child gets ill its just nerve racking because they are so tiny and helpless. Hendrix is now back to his usual self only shitting through his nappy on to his clothes a couple of times a week...so alls good in the hood.

Anyway being back at work has been really good, I actually feel like I never left the place if I'm honest. There’s a couple of new faces which is always nice breath of fresh air and some of the same faces which i had missed (shout out to Jodie one of the funniest girls i know). I am a beautician aka I wax vaginias, ball sack, legs, arms and arseholes for a living. I mean its not the most glamours as I have my hand in someone's fanny most of the day and lets just say some people wouldn't know water if it smacked them in the face. I swear some people either just don’t know how to use soap and water correctly or my definition of clean is completely different to theirs. I do enjoy what I do because you get to meet a lot of different people from different walks of life but then you do get the odd shitty arsehole and it makes you reevaluate you life. I thought being back at work I was going to be a crazy person that calls the nursery 30 times a day…okay confession for the first two weeks I was that crazy person but I am doing a lot better. I just find myself knackered after only working my three days. I DO NOT know how you mothers work full time. Seriously, round of a fucking applause, working mom life is hard. When I get home on a Wednesday Ryan isn't home, he works a second job coaching basketball to under privileged kids. He isn't there to shared the graft, so I have to feed, bath, clean the house, cook and put Hendrix to sleep on my own after working 10am-6pm. To all the single working mothers round of a fucking applause again to you guys because its hard as hell. By 10pm i am done Ryan is lucky if he gets conversation out of me because...I...am...DONE.

As I have transitioned into this part of motherhood I have had to focus on keeping balance. Balance, balance, balance!! Knowing when to just sit my arse down and leave the vacuuming until tomorrow. Knowing when I just need to take a timeout for myself, retreat to the bedroom, get my thoughts together and go back to what i was doing. I hardly get time to sit down and actually write blogs anymore. I have so many ideas and things written in my notes section of my iPhone (is it me or is notes section LIFE?, it literally keeps me organised). I am back in the gym, living like I used to, which means my ass and abs are slowly making a come back. I have a lot more quick 5-10 minute home workouts coming your way for all the people that struggle to find time to get in the gym. Like I said earlier, I'm working on some dope little mommy inspired t-shirts. Got some goodies in the works that I am obsessed with. I just need to find the time and make shit happen. 

So this is just a ‘I haven’t died’ and I am still blogging, a little check in/update to let you know things are still going pretty well on the mommy front. OMG by the way Henni just started walking, well I think he did. Do you consider it his first steps if he walks holding his walker? Completely unassisted just him and his walker? First steps right? But yes…my notes are telling me blog more real shit, blog workouts, blog bitch!…They are all on the way, soon as I work out two minutes to write them down. Maybe while I workout, hummmm…type and squat? 

no’,klmb jngbrvjnu5r6tiyujk,;OPI?ubjlk,/UYJ yh7yujbhft7yuimitr yukhytrrtjytuyuiok,minr vbnm - That was Hendrix saying hi (i left the room for two seconds)

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