When I fell pregnant I clearly had no idea what I was getting myself into. I thought it would be like the movies, you know where you look fucking amazing and glamorous all the time. Well NO it was nothing like that at all, it was SHIT!!! I felt sick everyday, I never looked glamorous in the slightest because NO shop I went in carried size whale. I actually remember going in to Zara, I think I was around 6 months pregnant just before my birthday and trying on clothes. Well what an emotional rollercoaster that was. I stood in the changing rooms crying and waving my arms around like a toddler that just got his favourite toys taken off them. I couldn't get the jeans past my knees and the dress I tried on made me looked like a pig in a blanket. NOTHING fit me in the slightest. BUT the worse part of pregnancy for me was the baby brain....NAW this ruined my life, still does on a daily basis.
At first I thought that this was a crock of shit, theres no such thing as baby brain. WELL there is, baby brain is fuckin REAL, and it stresses me OUT. Do you know how many coffees I have made and completely forgot about? I wake up in the morning give Hendrix his porridge and while he's feeding himself his milk I make myself a lovely cup of coffee. I come back in the kitchen 5 hours later...the fuckin coffee is still sat there. Do you know how many times I have gone in to the other room and got there and thought “What the hell have I come in here for?”. I thought after I had given birth this nightmare would end. NOPE it most definitely doesn't. The other day I wrote this glorious shopping list of all healthy alternatives for Ryan and myself. I legit spent a good hour writing this list and made it all vegan friendly. I got to the grocery store and I had FORGOT THE FUCKING LIST...I wanted to scream in the middle of Asda. I ended up buying chicken on chicken on chicken, mixed with chocolate and any carb I could find. I was so over myself at that point.
I legit sometimes feel like I am losing my mind. Mommies is this our lives now? I panic every Monday and Tuesday that I'm going to forget to pick Leyanah up from school, it's my biggest fear if I'm honest. So I have set about 3 alarms on my phone and wrote myself reminders around the house. I feel like a psycho.
I legit don't know how to cure myself of the baby brain, does it ever go away mommies? Will I ever remember what the hell I went into that room for? Will I ever drink a coffee warm again?