It has officially been too long but I'm back, How are you guys doing? How’s everyone feeling? What’s new with you guys?
I haven't sat down and just written for a while now. I am currently trying to build my own brand, more about that soon. I also made a promise to myself this year that I was going to be social; when I get invited to some shit ACTUALLY go. Not just sit at home and moan about not being social, actually BE SOCIAL. Obviously within that we have the standard “Mum Guilt”. Before leaving the kids, I'm like “get me out of here, I need a drink, I need to let my hair down”…
Then once I have let my hair down I'm like,
“Where are my babies? I miss them so much”.
That ladies and gentlemen is the enigma of Motherhood. I am sometimes envious of Ryan because when we are out or when he is out with the boys he can just be in the moment. He always says to me the kids are safe and with people we trust so re-fucking-lax BUT I can’t. I find it hard to just switch off for a second. I can be out in the club with my friends, bussing it down thotianna and I will think mid twerk “Did I send enough boxers for Hendrix?” “Does he have his blanket?” “Did leyanah eat enough today.” Why am I thinking these things mid turn up????? I guess this is just what makes us bomb ass mothers.
Anyway, what’s new in the Lewis household?
Well, Hendrix is almost potty trained. YES you heard me right; Hendrix Freddi is now in boxers. What a long shitty (literally) road that was. I can honestly say potty training for me has been the hardest part of this parenting shabang. We were definitely spoilt with Leyanah. She was a breeze when it came to potty training. At about two, I made her a potty training chart where we would give her stickers if she went potty. She was gassed for about a week and then was a-bit like “bitch I don't need a sticker every time I pee, I GOT THIS”. She would only really wear a pull up on the journeys from Manchester to Birmingham and back again BUT that was it. We accidentally put her to bed one night with no pull-up on and BOOM! she didn't wet the bed, she just got it. Hendrix on the other hand, was just NOT interested. The nursery scared me and told me not to push him or anything because kids will just hold it all in and make themselves sick. So naturally this scared the shit (literally) out of me and I just left him to it. If he asked to go to the potty we would take him but that was about it. Until three weeks ago. The nursery asked that we brought him in his underwear, no nappy (diaper for anyone that doesn’t know WTF I'm talking about), so we sent him in his boxers on the Monday. That day he had 4 accidents, the next day he had 2, then none. Now I can officially say he only shits on the floor at home once in a while. He will take himself to the potty and do “yellow” as he calls it. He's still a little weird about doing a number 2. I think it’s because obviously he's my child (making him an automatic weirdo) and he wants to watch it while he doing it and can't. BUT anyways a massive breakthrough for Hendrix, Mum, Dad and all mankind (I'm so dramatic)… but honestly bitttchhhh that was a long few months. It’s cute, now he will ask for the boxers he wants “LOLO (oh yeah he still doesn't call me mum KMT) can I wear piderman (no typo) boxers” ...cute lisping bastard lol.
Leyanah is now doing gymnastics and loving her absolute life. It did start off very rocky though. I have never in my life felt anxiety like I did on her first day of gymnastics. Keep in mind Leyanah has been asking to go to gymnastics for the good part of a year, but she wasn't old enough and there was a long waiting list. So when she finally got a place in January she was over the moon. Ryan and I are ‘those parents’ so we went and got her the gymnastics team’s leotard and some shorts with a water bottle, she was gassed. We get to the day of her first class, that morning she woke up at the ass crack of dawn. She comes stream rolling into our room jumping on the bed screaming “I have gymnastics today YEY”. She told me exactly how she wanted her hair, put her leotard on and off we went to gymnastics with the next Simone Bailes. We walked in and Leyanah is a little sheepish, which is normal… WHEN I TELL YOU, the minute she needed to step on the floor to start she broke TF down. Hyperventilating, sobbing her heart out, screaming ‘I don't want to do it’. Ryan and I was like ‘DA FUQ, what you mean you don't want to do it??’ We eventually calmed her down and she wanted Ryan and me to do it with her. So guess what we did? YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT; we got right in there with her. We did the warm up and then her group was on the trampoline thing (not quite got the entire gymnastic lingo down, give me another couple of months). By the end of the class she was fine and was asking “do I go tomorrow as well daddy? When do I do this again daddy? I just love it daddy?”. Meanwhile, its 11am and we both need liquor because her breakdown in the beginning of the class was so big and unexpected we needed to drown out the remnants of anxiety. Kid’s ay!
Finally, it was recently my 31st birthday… BITCH I'm getting old but I'm feeling great! The frame of mind I am in at the moment I am enjoying. I am working at this everyday though, it’s not just something that is, if that makes sense. I am a lot more positive, I am back in the gym, I am juicing and I’m just all round in a better place mentally. As corny as this sounds... I'm liking this bad bitch I'm becoming. OF COURSE I still have my days. I had a anxious breakdown in the car the other day because of WHO THE FUCK KNOWS but I got through it and I'm handling those moments so much better than I once used to.
Anyway, just wanted to check in with you guys and update you on my crazy family. I hope you are all doing good, I also just wanted to say thank you all for your continuous support it doesn't go unnoticed, I don't think you all understand how much it means to me.
Sis is slowly getting her shit together, Sis is getting a hang of this motherhood life, Sis is going to drink more water, Sis is going to focus on self care.
Sis is evolving.
Sis is US.
WE are SIS!