Before I got with Ryan I only thought YouTube shown music videos because all you can watch on MTV nowadays is catfish (let me be clear I am not cussing that, I love Nev and Max) but they don’t show music videos on TV anymore. So for my little fix of Nicki Minaj shaking her glorious ass in the Anaconda video I head on over to YouTube. I also love to watch certain makeup artists on there; it used to be my guilty pleasure now it’s literally what I do when I have 5 minutes to myself. I watch MannyMUA review makeup I wish I could afford. However when I got with Ryan and then was introduced to Leyanah, she opened my eyes to a WHOLE other side of YouTube.
I’m going to start by saying; kids watch some crazy shit, more to the fact people make some crazy ass videos.
When I first watched Leyanah on a phone or an iPad, I was mesmerised by how she knew what the hell she was doing. Now my son is just as nifty (OMG did I just say nifty...yes bitch you did. You 30 now, you old bat) Anyway, yeah, NIFTY on the damn things. I don’t know if I should be worried. How does Hendrix know how to get to my pictures and scroll though them? Don’t get me started when it comes to him on YouTube and someone calling me. The way he will decline that call ASAP. BUT howwww?? Is it just their generation, because it’s literally filled with technology nowadays? At his nursery his key worker takes pictures of him on an iPad and sends them to me on the little nursery Facebook thing, so he’s constantly surrounded by tech.
Anyway, what I really want to talk/vent about are those annnnnnoyinnnnnng fuckin songs that some dick has made on YouTube and now my kids are obsessed with. For instance, if I hear daddy finger one moooooooreee time I am going to snap. It just plays over and over and over and over and over again. 🖕🏽 here’s one big fat mummy finger to that awful song. Doooo not get me started on Johnny and his fuckin papa. Why is this kid Johnny just eating straight sugar, what is wrong with him. Are you alright Johnny lad? You’re gonna be diabetic by the time your 5 kid. To all the people making money off opening kinder eggs, hats off to you because out of the 220 million views I think my kids make up about 219 million of them. They love watching that weird shit. Where they open the different colour eggs and put all the reds on one plate and blues on another. Hendrix will sit and watch this and be so into it like it is Love Island. NOOOOOOOW who knows what “baby shark doo doo doo doo doo doo” is?! I have a love hate relationship with this song right here. Watching Hendrix and Leyanah sing along to it while doing the dance moves is actually so cute. However, when I’m in the shower, not a kid in sight and I’m humming “mummy shark doo doo doo doo doo doo” I wanna slap myself in the back of my neck.
...NOW, Who knows who this guy is?...
Mr ‘Give it to me’?
Course you fucking don’t but if I said ‘Dame Tu Cosita!’ We would have your ass thrusting and sliding all over the place. I actualllllllly LOVE his whole life. To be honest I think Ryan and I love this song and dance more than the kid do. That little green bastard can MOVE!!!
All jokes aside I do have a love hate relationship with technology and kids. I don’t want them to be those kids that are sat in a restaurant and can’t chill unless they have an iPad or a phone in there hands. We are all guilty for this sometimes when you just need 5 mins you will give them the phone and slam on YouTube. I do understand the benefits of technology and don’t want them to be behind as they grow up. I am very mindful that they are being brought up in an era where technology is EVERYWHERE, so there is actually no escaping it. I want them to understand the essence of outdoor play, what physical exercise is and be able to socially mix with others WITHOUT a Direct Message or a follow button. To be fair Hendrix and Leyanah are social butterflies, any other kid is around and they both want to be their besties and play. Ideally they would wake up and run themselves into the ground, hiding in dens, dodging imaginary lava and discussing paw patrol with imaginary friends. Then find their chill, preferably when I have had enough of them running up & down, fighting each other. But sometimes that chill time I let them have the iPads. We all know how plans and ideal situations mix with parenting though, so instead I find myself sometimes dancing around my living room with the savages, waving my mummy finger in the air like I just don’t care. This is our balance.